In A Moment
by StevexBuckyx
Summary: The losers get caught in a school shooting. M for obvious reasons. Reddie, Benverly and Stenbrough. Modern day au, but the events in Neibolt are all canon.
1. Chapter 1

(A/N) ok this is kinda fucked up, but it's based of a dream i had...so...yeah. modern day, so they have phones.  
tw: death, gore, school shootings

* * *

The losers were wandering the halls right before their first period. They were talking about nothing really and just enjoying each other's company. The bell went and they all parted ways. Richie and Stanley went to biology, Bill went to art, Beverly and Mike went to skip, Eddie went to first aid and Ben went to history.

When Stanley and Richie were about to enter their class, they heard it. The first gunshot. They looked at each other wide eyed, not sure if they'd heard the same thing. Another gunshot was fired and they bolted into the classroom. They were the last ones in their class and there was no one in the hall behind them so Stanley shut the door and rolled down the blinds. He joined Richie and his other classmates in the far corner of the room. Their teacher, Mr Wilson, got up and locked the door.

Stanley pulled his phone out of his pocket to alert his parents only to find a text from Bill.

_Bill: I'm hiding in a bathroom stall. If I don't make it, I love you._

"What?" he whispered as he titled his phone for Richie to look, "he didn't make it to class. Richie, I can't lose him."  
"It's okay, he'll be okay."  
"You can't promise that."

Richie didn't respond. He just put an arm around Stanley. Stanley unlocked his phone and texted his parents to let them know, just before opening Bill's message.

Bill was sat on the closed toilet seat with his knees to his chest. He had one hand covering his mouth and another clutching his phone waiting for Stanley to reply. The bathroom door opened and tears filled Bill's eyes. He hadn't been this scared since Neibolt. He didn't want to die.

_Stan: I love you too, Bill._  
_Bill: They're in here. Bill : I love you so much Stanley._  
_Stan: It's okay, you're going to be okay. I love you too._  
_Bill: I love you_

He quickly sent the messages and turned off his phone. Warm tears fell down his cheeks as he repressed sobs. The stall door next to him opened. He heard a gunshot, a scream then saw his classmate fall to the ground. He dropped his phone and bought his other hand up to his mouth while trying to suppress a gasp. It got the attention of the shooter, then he door in front of him swung open to reveal a man in all black with a gun clutched in his hands. He took his hands away from his mouth and tried to back himself up further into the stall. The man pointed the gun straight in between Bill's eyes and pulled the trigger. The skinny boy hit his head on the wall behind him then fell forwards onto the floor. He was emotionless and unmoving.

Beverly and Mike had escaped to the houses across the street. They were calling the police and ambulance. They'd only been able to get a hold of Bill, but now he wasn't responding. They were worried for their friends safety. Mike had been holding Beverly in his arms while they sobbed. They were terrified and they weren't even in the building.

Ben was clutching his books as he pressed his back against the inside of the cupboard. He tried to get his phone out, but the cupboard was too small and he couldn't move. He hadn't made it to class either, but he had a better hiding spot. The shooter had walked past multiple times without even thinking to look in the cupboard. Despite being almost completely safe, he was crying. He was filled with fear, but not for him. For his classmates, his friends, his parents, his girlfriend. He was terrified on what would happen to them and he if anything did happen he wouldn't be able say goodbye because he couldn't reach his fucking phone.

Eddie was treating his classmate. Trevor Narman was someone who used to bully Eddie, but in that moment it didn't matter to Eddie. He ran out of class when he saw him get shot in the leg, despite his teachers protests. He had a disinfectant wipe and bandage in his fanny pack. He crouched next to his classmate and began disinfecting the wound. He didn't even attempt to remove the bullet as it had gone all the way through. He then wrapped the bandage tightly around the newly sterilised wound.

"Thank you," Trevor cried out in a whisper.  
"Come on, let's get you inside the classroom."

Eddie helped Trevor stand and began helping him walk over to the room when the shooter came around the corner. He shot and turned back around. Eddie pushed Trevor into the room as the bullet came flying towards the pair. It hit Eddie in the chest. Pain surged his whole body as he stumbled backwards and clutched the wound. He fell over and laid on his back. Tears fell down his cheeks as he shakily took his phone from his pocket.

"Hey siri," he whispered, "call Richie."  
"Hello? Eddie?" Richie answered immediately.  
"Rich," his voice was weak, "I wanted to let you know that I love you so much and I'm sorry."  
"I love you too Eddie," he replied, "are you okay? What happened?"

He dropped his phone as his arm became weaker.

"Eds? Eddie?" he was crying, "Eddie please."  
"Please," he said, "don't worry, just talk to me."  
"I don't know what you want me to say, Eddie are you hurt?"  
"Just talk to me. I want to hear your voice," he was getting weaker and weaker with each word.  
"Do you remember when we met?" He sniffed, "we were in grade three. You were sitting with Bill when Stan and I came over. He wanted to be friends with Bill so I decided I wanted to be friends with you. You offered me half of your lunch that day after you saw I forgot to bring mine and I think that's the day I fell in love with you."

Eddie closed his eyes as he listened to Richie's voice over the phone and let the darkness take him.

When Eddie didn't speak again Richie began to sob quietly. He dropped his phone in front of his feet and buried his face in his knees. He didn't care that the whole class had heard them profess their love for each other. Stanley was hugging Richie while holding back tears. He was terrified for Bill. He kept replaying his last text over and over in his head. Was he gone? Was he okay? Did the shooter not look in the stalls? His train of through was lost when he heard police sirens.


	2. Chapter 2

The police came into Stanley and Richie's classroom and ushered everyone outside. Stanley ran outside and spotted Mike and Beverly. Him and Richie sprinted towards their two friends then pulled them into a tight group hug.

"I'm so glad you guys are okay," Beverly half-smiled.  
"Eddie," Richie whispered through a sob, "he's gone."

They felt someone else join the group hug. Ben. Beverly and Ben broke off from the hug. They pressed their foreheads together and sobbed.

"I was so scared."  
"It's okay Bev, I'm never leaving you."

Stanley pulled away and anxiously watched the door waiting for Bill to exit. Instead he spotted Trevor. Trevor pointed to Richie and the person who was supporting him started to help him over to them. Richie walked forwards and met him halfway.

"I'm so sorry, Eddie...he wrapped up my leg after I got hit then the shooter came back around the corner and he," he was sobbing, "Eddie pushed me in the classroom and took the hit. I'm sorry."  
Richie pulled Trevor into an embrace, "it's not your fault."

The two unlikely friends buried their faces in each other's shoulders and sobbed.

The paramedics started leaving the school with sheet-covered stretchers and Bill was nowhere to be seen. As the realisation hit Stanley, a sob escaped his trembling lips.

"Bill, no" he slowly covered his mouth with his hands, "no no no no no no no no, Bill, no, please no, Bill, no."

He broke into a louder sob as his hands slowly moved their way to cover his eyes too. He felt his heart shatter and his stomach began to twist and turn. His ears started ringing and he collapsed to his knees. Beverly noticed. She walked away from Ben and crouched next to Stanley. She put her arm around him and gave him a side hug. He leant into her and let himself melt into her embrace.

"He's gone," Stanley cried out, "Bill and Eddie, they're both gone, he's gone."  
"Shh," she buried her hand in Stanley's hair and softly ran her nails along his scalp, "it's okay."

She didn't know what she was saying, she just tried anything to try and calm him down.

"No," he choked out quietly, "tell me this is a dream, please."  
"Stanny, you know I can't," Beverly said softly.

* * *

Stanley's parents arrived shortly and ushered him into the car. They turned the radio on and the local news was talking about the incident.

Eighteen people have been injured with two dead during a mass shooting at Derry High School. Fourteen year old Harley Zimm and seventeen year old William Denbrough have-

Donald turned the radio off the second he heard Stanley's boyfriends name. Stanley started to sob again, it didn't even twig in his mind that Eddie's name hadn't been said. He pulled out his phone and read the last few texts he'd gotten from Bill.

_Bill: I'm hiding in the bathroom stall. If I don't make it, I love you._  
_Stan: I love you too, Bill._  
_Bill: They're in here. Bill : I love you so much Stanley._  
_Stan: It's okay, you're going to be okay. I love you too._  
_Bill: I love you_

He pressed his phone to his chest along with his knees. He dropped his head into his knees and let out loud wails and cries. Donald pulled over and got out the car. He then got in the back seat and sat next to Stanley. He put an arm around him.

"Hey," Donald spoke softly, "it's okay, I'm here."

Stanley looked up and gave Donald his phone. He looked at it with wide eyes that were filling with tears.

"Oh Stan," he put the phone down next to him, "come"

Stanley undid his seatbelt and threw himself into his dads arms. He buried his face in his dads chest and let out loud cries again. Donald didn't say anything, he just rubbed Stanley's back and put one hand in his hand.

"They're gone dad," he cried out, "they're gone, they're really gone."  
"Let it all out," he said softly.  
"Bill...he was alone, i-i-in the bathroom," the thought made him sob even more uncontrollably than before, "and Eddie, we heard him as he d-died. He sounded so weak and he was begging to hear Richie, but Bill, I wasn't even able to hear him and he couldn't hear me, I didn't even get to say goodbye."

Andrea got out the car and climbed into the back seat behind Stanley. She put her hand on his back he flinched.

"It's just me, Stan. You're safe now. No one is going to hurt you," she soothed, "and honey, Eddie's name wasn't said."

Andrea moved over slightly and hugged them both.

"But we heard him, and Trevor...he told us what happened."

He let out another sob. Andrea was about to speak again when he heard Stanley stop sobbing. He was breathing softly instead of shaking and his grip loosened around his dads waist.

"Is he asleep?" Andrea asked,  
"Yeah," Donald chuckled softly, "can't imagine today's been easy."

* * *

Since Richie got home, he hadn't said anything to his parents. They both had attempted to comfort him, but nothing worked. He believes he'd lost the love of his life. He'd listened to his last few words and breaths over the phone. It still hadn't processed completely. He laid in his bed with his earphones blasting 'Amnesia' by 5sos while clutching Eddie's jacket he'd left at his house one time. Warm tears fell down his temples into his hair and the pillow underneath him.

_If today I woke up with you right beside me, like all of this was just some twisted dream, I'd hold you closer than I ever did before and you'd never slip away and you'd never hear me say..._

He pushed his head further into the pillow as he squeezed his eyes shut and suddenly he was back in the dark classroom.

_"It's Eddie," Richie answered the call, "hello? Eddie?"_  
_"Rich," his voice was weak as it emerged from his phone, "I wanted to let you know that I love you so much and I'm sorry."_  
_"I love you too Eddie," he replied as he put the phone on speaker, "are you okay? What happened?"_

_Richie heard the phone drop and panic flooded his whole body._

_"Eds? Eddie?" he cried into the phone, "Eddie please."_  
_"Please, don't worry, just talk to me."_  
_"I don't know what you want me to say, Eddie are you hurt?"_  
_"Just talk to me. I want to hear your voice," he could hear him getting weaker._

_Richie looked at Stanley. The boy nodded towards the phone. Richie gave him a sad smile before talking into the phone again._

_"Do you remember when we met?" He sniffed, "we were in grade three. You were sitting with Bill when Stan and I came over. He wanted to be friends with Bill so I decided I wanted to be friends with you. You offered me half of your lunch that day after you saw I forgot to bring mine and I think that's the day I fell in love with you."_

_He didn't hear Eddie's voice again. He pressed his face into his knees and sobbed._

His eyes shot open and the song had ended. He quickly sat up, paused his music and tore his earphones out. He put Eddie's jacket on and headed downstairs. When he walked into his living room, his parents were cuddled up watching the news.

_A mass shooting at Derry High School today has left two kids dead and eighteen injured._

"Great," Richie thought, "Eddie and Bill were the only ones to go."

_Harley Zimm and William Denbrough have unfortunately lost their lives to the shooter who has been identified as local asylum escapee Henry Bowers. Edward__ Kaspbrak and Samual Hargreeves are in critical condition, but are expected to make a full recovery._

"Eddie," Richie breathed softly as he bought his hands up to his mouth, "he's alive."


	3. Chapter 3

Sonia never liked Richie. She didn't mind that her son was gay, but she minded that he was gay for him. When Richie turned up at the hospital looking for Eddie, despite her deep dislike for him, she couldn't turn him away. In fact, she was the one who lead Richie to Eddie's room where he was currently unconscious. He walked in and gave her a wary look. She simply nodded which was unspoken permission for him to touch her son. He took a seat next to Eddie's bed and softly grabbed his hand.

"Hey Eds," he said so quietly, it was almost a whisper, "I was so scared."

His voice had cracked and become shaky the second he'd entered the room. Sonia couldn't help, but feel sorry for Richie. She'd been through the same sort of thing with Frank Kaspbrak and knew how he felt. For the first time in forever, Sonia Kaspbrak felt empathy and it for none other than Richie Tozier.

"I thought you were gone. I couldn't bring myself to talk to my parents or eat anything," his eyes were welling with tears, "Trevor told me what you did. You're too kind for your own good," Richie chuckled softly before his lip began trembling again.  
"What did he do?" Sonia spoke up, but her voice wasn't harsh.

She was genuinely interested in what her son had done which put him in harms way and not even in the way where she was going to scold him or stuff him with more pills. She wanted to know how much of a good kid he was.

"Trevor, someone in his first aid class got shot in the ankle," he replied quietly, "Eddie ran out the class and helped him."  
"He did that?"  
"Yeah," Richie gave her a small smile.  
"Wow, you two are getting along," Eddie croaked as his eyes flicked open.  
"Eddie," Richie let out a happy cry.  
"Hey dipshit."  
"Asshole."

Sonia smiled at Eddie before leaving the room. She decided it be best to leave the two boys alone and go tell a doctor that Eddie had woken.

"How long was I out?"  
"Two days."  
"How is everyone?"  
"Everyone is okay...except..." his voice trailed off. The last thing he wanted to do was tell Eddie his best friend was gone.  
"Except?" Worry filled Eddie's eyes.

Richie closed his eyes and titled his head down. More tears welled in his eyes and he tried to repress them, which of course didn't work. When he opened them again and looked at Eddie, the warm tears spilled out and began falling down his cheeks.

"Bill," he choked out, "he's gone."

Eddie felt as if he'd been shot again. Bill was the first person to talk to him. Bill was the first person to show him that love wasn't being completely smothered, even if it was simply platonic. Bill was his first friend. Bill was one of the most important people to Eddie and he was gone...taken away...just like that. He closed his eyes and thought about the last time he'd seen Bill.

_"Th-this is the way to m-my class," he smiled sweetly at the group._  
_"See you at lunch, Bill," Mike grinned._

_Stanley pressed a chaste kiss to Bill's lips, earning a smile from the stuttering boy._

_"Bye, Bill," Eddie hugged him for a second._  
_"Cya, Eddie."_

_As Bill turned to walk down the hallway, all the losers started saying things like "goodbye" and "we love you" until Bill turned around, smirked then proceeded to flip them off. He turned the corner and was no longer in sight._

When he opened his eyes again, he was met with a worried Richie.

"Eds."

He turned his head to look at his boyfriend. A tear fell from the corner of his eye and rolled down his temple until it met the pillow beneath his head. He hadn't even realised he had tears in his eyes until he felt the warm strip fall down his face.

"Please tell me you're joking, please. Tell me this is some sick prank and he isn't gone," tears blurred his vision, "please."  
"You know I wouldn't joke about this, Eds."

That was the breaking point. Eddie broke. Shattered. Sobs fell from his lips as he turned his head back up to face the ceiling. He closed his eyes and tears seeped their way through his eyelids. They fell diagonally down his cheeks and trickle down just below his earlobes. Richie kissed Eddie's hand in an attempt to reassure him. Watching Eddie crumble was when the reality of this whole situation hit him. He'd been caught in a school shooting he'd almost lost his boyfriend in. He'd lost one of his closest friends and he wasn't coming back. The two boys grieved the loss of their friend together. No words were spoken. Only soft sobs filled the stuffy recovery room.

* * *

Stanley sat at the dining table with a blank mind. His parents tried to talk to him, but he just sat there in silence. Their words were like a radio station that he never tuned in to. He hadn't touched his phone. Even when it would ring, he'd leave it. He didn't read any of the notifications or even turn his wifi off so he wouldn't get any. His room had become a mess which was very strange behaviour for Stanley as he had lived with crippling OCD for the majority of his life.

"Stan," Donald said softly, "please talk to me."

He didn't reply. He just started at his plate full of food with no sign of life behind his eyes. Andrea reached across the table and grabbed his hand. Stanley flinched alway and moved both his hands so they were under the table. This seemed to snap him back into the present. He sob escaped his lips and he brought his hands up to cover his face. He cried loudly into his hands which made his parents stop eating, walk around to him and comfort their son.

"I'm never going to see him again," he cried out, "I'm never going to be able to hear him or hug him or kiss him or hold his hand ever again."

His words were encased with sobs and were hard to make out, but his parents understood. They held him close, but didn't say anything. They knew nothing that would be able to comfort Stanley. They couldn't say that everything was going to be okay as they weren't sure if it was going to be, they couldn't say Stanley's friends would come and talk to him as Stanley had already turned them all away.

It wasn't often Stanley would break, but when he did, he was always the hardest to put back together.


	4. Chapter 4

_**TW: attempted suicide**_

* * *

Stanley sat on his bed clutching a pill bottle. He didn't know what was in it, but he knew it would kill him and that was good enough. He picked up his phone and texted the losers group chat.

_Staniel: i love you all, thank you for everything. i'm sorry_

_Trashmouth: stan? are you okay?_

_Bevvie: please be safe, don't do anything stupid, please stanny _

_Mickey: i'm coming over _

_Bencil: stan, stay safe _

_Eds: stanley, please reply_

He put his phone on silent and tucked it under his pillow so he couldn't see it. He took a deep breath and unscrewed then lid. Stanley glanced over at the note he'd written for his parents over on his desk.

_Dear mom and dad,_

_I'm so sorry. I know you tried everything to make me feel safe, but losing Bill hurts more than you could even begin to imagine. I really thought he was the one and we were going to grow old together. Everything hurts all the time and I just can't take it anymore. I didn't tell you because I don't want you guys to worry about me. At least with me gone, you'll have one less burden._

_Love, Stanley_

A tear fell down his cheek and his hand grew more shaky. He was ripped from his thoughts as he heard front door burst open. Stanley froze in place knowing it was the losers. He couldn't move.

Stanley heard his parents calling Mike's name in confusion as footsteps came up the stairs towards him.

"Stan!" Mike yelled.

Stanley began pouring the pills out onto his hand. He dropped the bottle and picked up a glass of water. He was about to throw his head back and take them when his bedroom door swung open.

"Stan!"

Mike ran over and slapped the pills out of Stanley's hand.

"Why did you do that!" Stanley yelled as he stood, "why? Just let me fucking end it!"  
"Stan, please, calm down, you're okay, it's okay."  
"It's not okay!" Stanley shoved Mike backwards, "Bill is fucking dead! He's gone! Nothing will ever be okay!"

His yells became more and more shaky and tears began spilling from his eyes profusely. He was pushing and hitting Mike, but not hard enough to hurt him. Mike wrapped his arms around the boy and felt him try to push him away, but Mike was a lot stronger and was able to hold him.

"Let go of me!" He screamed to the point where it hurt his throat as he thrashed in Mike's arms, "let me fucking end it!"  
"It's okay," Mike whispered soothingly, "you're okay, it's okay."  
"Let me fucking go!" His voice strained, "get off me!"

Stanley kicked and pushed, but no amount of adrenaline would make him be able to over power Mike. Eventually, he became too tired of fighting collapsed in Mike's arms. He buried his face into Mike's shoulder and let loud cries fall from his lips.

"I don't want to hurt anymore, I just want it to be over."

Stanley's voice was so broken it physically hurt Mike. He sat Stanley down on the bed while continuing to embrace him. Stanley's finger tips loosely hung from the back of Mike's shirt. His sobs were erratic and his throat hurt.

"I don't want to be here, I want to be gone, why don't you let me?" Stanley choked out.  
"Because we love you, Stan. All of the losers do."

Stanley's parents, Richie, Beverly and Ben where in the doorway. Mike nodded at them and mouthed 'I got this.' They all nodded and quietly moved downstairs.

"I don't want to hurt anymore. I love him so much."  
"We'll get through it together."

Stanley cried so much, Mike's shoulder ended up drenched in his tears. Mike softly ran his finger nails up and down Stanley's back. The poor boy ended up so exhausted from the whole ordeal, he fell asleep in Mike's arms. Mike felt Stanley's grip on him loosen. He laid Stanley down and pulled his blanket over him. Mike made sure he was completely comfortable and then began picking up all the pills scattered all over the floor. He put them back into the bottle and shoved them in his pocket. Mike wiped some of the tears that had lingered on Stanley's cheeks and then kissed his forehead. He picked up the glass of water and the note, shut Stanley's door and headed downstairs.

"He fell asleep," Mike said.

He walked over and handed the stuff to Donald and Andrea.

"Is he okay?" Richie asked, walking over.  
"He's fine, I don't think he actually took anything...well he was still holding pills when I walked in."  
"How did you guys know?" Andrea asked as he held herself tight.  
"He texted our group chat and he wasn't insulting Richie so we knew something was up."

Beverly was sitting in the corner with her knees to her chest. Ben was trying to console her. Mike and Richie walked over to her.

"Bev, are you okay?" Mike asked.  
"Just h-hearing him like that," she stuttered, "it's too much...I guess it hadn't really hit me yet that Bill isn't coming back."  
"You guys going to the funeral?" Richie asked, timidly.

Everyone nodded. Richie and Ben helped Beverly stand. Her whole body was trembling so Ben pulled her into a hug. She cried into his shoulder and everyone hugged them, forming a large group hug. Even Donald and Andrea joined.

Stanley was hurting the most and all of them had been too blind and unable to see it.


End file.
